Dear Petunia
Petunia received this message today from Amy, who is a little stressed out:
“I’ve been reading Mr. Flapper’s blog for the past several months, and I have a quick question to pose to the sage Ms. Petunia Peach. I am getting married in less than two weeks and am feeling overwhelmed. Petunia seems to have O’Malley on lockdown! Does she have any long-term relationship advice to share with us humble humans?”
What do you think, Petunia?
“Oh, I have advice. Take a seat.”
“Let me think… first off, you need to take responsibility for how you let a drake treat you. I mean, it’s okay to let them think they’re in charge, but we both know that’s just pretend. To get them in line, you gotta let them know where they stand. Don’t berate them when they do something wrong. But make sure they know it, so they don’t do it again.”
“Oh corn treats. Hold on a minute.”
“Okay… another thing you can do is keep them on their toes. Never let them get too comfortable. They’ll think they have you all figured out and then they’ll get bored. That’s when you surprise them with A KARATE CHOP TO THE BEAK! Or something like that. Any surprise will do, really. You can see Sam here has NO idea what’s coming his way. See how attentive he is? That’s how you want a drake. RIGHT SAM? Ha ha ha.”
“Lastly, every once in a while, make sure they really know they can count on you. Be there for them when it counts. And spend some time apart now and then so they miss you. That’s my advice.”
Wow, Petunia. That is some good advice. I think maybe Sam has had enough surprises for now though. Maybe you can let up on him just a bit?
“Never. Consistency is key. Didn’t you listen to what I just said?”
I’m sorry, Petunia. You’re right. Good advice, girl.
Best of luck to Amy on her pending nuptials! We hope Petunia’s advice is helpful.
12 Comments
Finally….a replacement for Dear Abby!
Wow, Petunia, you sure give sound advice!
Gee, when is Petunia going to write her first book on wedding nuptual/communication/who really has the upper hand? she is so intelligent and down to earth in her advise.
Oh, that was so funny when she stopped to eat her corn treats.
Thank you so much, Petunia! You give great advice and I’m glad you were willing to share it with me.
I agree Petunia… one has to keep the male on his tippy-flippers (toes for humans) at all times.
I sense that you have a lot more advice to share, oh wise Lady Petunia. May I humbly suggest a weekly relationship column? This would depend on your schedule, of course. I know you’re quite busy these days: There are many worms to eat and drakes to keep in line, after all.
Ha ha ha, good advice Petunia my dear:-) You know your men like no other one does (or maybe our Saartje could compete with you). I know it’s a hard job, specially with a big drake like Malley is, but your are strong and have will power and you keep your guy(s) right under your thumb.
Great story line and great pictures:-)
Great advice from Petunia! I think a weekly column should be in the near future and save them for later book publication. What a lark!
I am with Dawn! How about a weekly “Dear Abbey” column featuring Lady Petunia and Mr. Flapper on alternating weeks? So the fans can get both Mars and Venus perspectives?
I think that with giving Petunia the added corn, she might be able to come up with a weekly column. I loved that photo of her stopping to eat the corn.
toonie is so wise.
i love sam’s posture in that photo – and toonie’s mid-stride foot. such characters!