NOTE: This posting is rated PG-17 for STRONG LANGUAGE and RATIONAL THOUGHT. Stop reading now if you’re overly-sensitive or irrational.

Sunny did well at the vet’s office today. Her legs are both really bad, and most likely (given the old emails I found about her) due to a traumatic injury in February of 2006. For now, the vet wants to try and see if we can control the inflammation and pain for Sunny to improve her quality of life enough to keep her around. This means she will need to stay with me indefinitely, as she’ll need medication every day for the rest of her life. Today they did blood work and took a sample of fluid from her joints to ensure it wasn’t something other than just inflammation from her chronic, untreated injury from 2006. Sunny’s right “knee” (up under the feathers) has calcification on the tendon. That is keeping her from being able to pull that leg forward and stand on it normally. She stands on her ankle and that can’t be comfortable. Sunny’s left “ankle” (which looks like a backwards knee for those confused by duck anatomy) is very distorted from chronic arthritis, but it doesn’t seem infected. Again, we’ll know for sure when the blood work and biopsy comes back. This is my lay-person description. I am obviously not a veterinarian. For now, Sunny is doing okay and enjoying her chicken friends, Racquel L’Oreal and Olivia.

I do have to warn you now that I’m just about to go on an extended rant over the next few weeks. I’ve reached a breaking point this season. I’ve seen far too much neglect, which is always a problem. But with Sunny, I’m especially disappointed at the rescuer community, including myself.

Sunny is a duck who in February of 2006 had a traumatic injury. Her owner did not have money to support the 30+ rescued animals she had at her home at the time, and couldn’t afford to take even a single one of them to the vet. She couldn’t afford her car payment, let alone the 30+ rescued animals she illegally kept in her mobile home. Sunny went to a regular vet (apparently) who didn’t normally treat birds. That vet did not do an x-ray or blood work. No one had money to pay for it. Sunny’s owner turned to message boards to get help for her, and got such sage advice as:

“I’d think about a straight forward foot injury and inflamation. Foot and/or bone infection might be a possiblity.”

“Has she had an x-ray to rule out hardware disease??”

“Egg binding??”

“For pain and to help her until tomorrow, dissolve one 325 mg (regular adult size) ASPIRIN in a gallon of water and let her drink that as her only water source.”

Miraculously ten days later, Sunny “improved,” apparently after an avian vet gave her one injection of an anti-inflammatory. She never walked the same again. She barely walks at all, and every step is painful. She never had an x-ray or blood work, because it was too expensive.

Now for the rant:

1. If you rescue animals, and you cannot afford to take them to qualified veterinarians, you are neglecting them. Maybe you THINK you’re doing good? But you’re out of touch with reality and overestimate your own skill level. You are not a veterinarian. You are not acting rationally.

2. If you seek “veterinary” advice, or give advice, on a message board… without ever examining the animal in person and ordering diagnostics, you’re abusing animals. You are unqualified and haphazardly giving half-assed information to people whose skill level you don’t know. Be responsible. Be rational. Explain to me how you’re “saving animals” again? Think you can give helpful advice based on an uneducated person’s impression of what might be wrong with their animal? You’re part of the problem.

3. If you cannot find a qualified veterinarian in your area for the animals you have or are rescuing, do not rescue those animals. They are better off dead than in your half-assed magical do-gooder care. You are very likely woefully unqualified to treat animals, and might even have a God complex. If you didn’t go to veterinary school, stop acting like you did. If you get pets before researching whether or not a qualified veterinarian is nearby, you are an irresponsible pet owner.

4. If you’re running a “sanctuary” or a “rescue” and constantly sending out notes about how you’re about to lose your house, car, job, land, etc. then you’re a really, really shitty sanctuary, now aren’t you? If you cannot pay your mortgage, you cannot afford animals. End of story. Stop spamming the entire world with threats of dumping your animals because you can’t pay your mortgage.

5. “But if I don’t save them, who will?” Sunny suffered in pain, shaking her wings in pain and pulling her tail under her in excruciating pain for days and days while her owner, who couldn’t afford proper care, asked for help from random unqualified strangers on a message board, and got random shitty advice from all over the place. Over three and a half years later, she ended up at my house and finally got an x-ray that shows just how much pain she was in for all this time.

6. Think I’m being too harsh? I hope you, as a human, never have a crushing injury to your legs and pelvis while a friend or family member tries to tube feed you with aquarium tubing while asking unqualified @$$hats on the Internet about what dosage of antibiotics might help you, all the while not getting real medical care for you.

7. If you have a bunch of rescued animals and routinely lose them to predators, you are not sane. You’re part of the problem.

8. If you call yourself a “sanctuary” or a “rescue” and let animals breed and hatch all over the place, you are not sane. You’re a part of the problem.

9. Oh! And to those of you who think I’m spending too much money on “a duck” or “a chicken” then let me do some math for you. A $500 vet visit can correctly diagnose an animal and save them years of suffering. If you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, you can quit and have $500 to spend on veterinary care in a little over 3 months. If you drink a latte a day you could drink water instead and have $500 saved up in 4 months. Having trouble making ends meet but you have DVDs, an iPhone, an iPod or other bullshit materialistic crap no one needs? You’re wasting money. If you drink alcohol, see movies, eat out, travel, buy clothes, etc. but don’t have money for a vet visit, give me a royal break.

And that is part one of a weeks-long rant of all the completely out of control bullshit that goes on with animal rescue, message board advice and rescuers who think they’re veterinarians. I will be over here in the corner, having alienated everyone else.

Stay tuned, or if you don’t like it, tune out.